Ignorance: Phase I

Three months ago I was strolling through a popular trail in the nearby woods at the foot of the Enchantments. As usual, I was not the only person on the path that morning. I passed by a cute Hispanic girl walking her ridiculous looking dog, a small family wearing matching nylon sports suits, and an old man in knee-high tube socks. None of these folks got much more than a slight head nod from myself.

Then, suddenly, a man came barreling around the corner of the trail screaming bloody murder. He wasn't really pronouncing words. It was more of an "AGGGHHHHHH OIGHY AGGH!!!"

He slammed on the brakes when he spotted me. I did the ol' "hey, I wonder what kind of tree that is to my immediate right" routine, as to avoid contact with his crazed eyes. The frazzled man screamed and ran right toward me. I didn't have time pick up a rock to throw before he reached me and grabbed me by the shirt. "The rabbits are all insane!" he cried, through a decidedly frothy mouth. His breath smelled of tobacco and fear. "You heard right! Out of their fucking minds, crazy!"

He shoved me aside and ran down the trail screaming to warn the others of these "insane" rabbits. I was relieved to be rid of him and just assumed the man was somehow experiencing an "enhanced" trail hike. After all, the forest is a pretty awesome place to smoke drugs.

I continued on my way. As I rounded the bend of the trail, I was met with a sight that sent a bolt of shivers down my neck. A dead girl lay in the middle of the trail. A pack of wild rabbits were eating her brains right out of her skull. The rabbits were all walking on their hind legs and their eyes were glowing yellow. One of them spotted me and began to walk toward me. As he drew near I thought to myself, "What the hell is the matter with that guy? They aren't insane. They're clearly zombies. God. How can people be so clueless?"